Smile Through the Chaos and Let Go of Perfection

Today as I am sharing my home office with my 6^th grader, trying to log into 7 different Zoom meetings for her first day of middle school. I am counting my blessings that I have the ability to work from home (and was insightful enough not to schedule any meetings for myself). It has been stressful, it has been crazy, things have not gone smoothly. I have not accomplished the tasks I had set for myself for this morning.

But as I have discussed with many different friends recently, we all have to give ourselves some grace right now. Or as a recent Harvard Business Review article discussed, we have to let go of our perfectionism and smile through the chaos.

We set huge expectations for ourselves and our businesses. We have expectations of how we want to support our children and be present for them. And right now, those expectations are creating conflicts and chaos to our “normal” way of doing things.

Some tips for balancing the crazy:

Shift your day-Some of us are early birds others are night owls. I personally am an early bird, so I get up and work for 2 hours before my family. I grab my coffee and start work in my PJs. I use this time to start my daily journal and plan out the priorities for the day. On the good days I also am able to accomplish the top priority. I know some families that have one parent shift to an early start and the other parent stays up late, allowing for both parents to have some dedicated focused time.
Set your priorities-What is the one thing that must be done today? What could be delayed? Can something be delegated or outsourced? Adjust your expectations for your output. When you have more demands put on your time, you have to adjust what you expect yourself to perform.
Be Agile-As parents we have all learned this just to survive. But now more than ever we have to apply that agility to both our business and personal expectations. It’s ok to shift meetings at the last minute, or block out more time for a task (knowing you will be interrupted 10 times), it’s ok to say no to additional obligations. Shift your time so one day has more parent time and less work, while another has more work and less parent. Adapt and smile through the chaos.
Let go of screen time guilt-This is a huge struggle for me. I have always limited my daughter’s screen time. These last few months, the screen time has been much less regulated to give me some additional time to get work done. It these unusual times, where so many other activities are limited, additional screen time is not the end of the world. Also, the amount of time spent together as a family is much greater than ever before. So, we hope the increased quality family time will offset the increased family time for a net positive impact on our kids.
Set Boundaries-If you kids are old enough, set strict at work hours not to be disturbed. Or if you are facing a hard deadline requiring additional time and focus, let the family know. But also set strict off time. Times when the family knows you are available and focused just on family time.
Ask for Help-Especially entrepreneurs and small business owners, but many of us perfectionists think we have to do it all ourselves. Then we continue to take on more commitments, or help others, while our own work loads are crazy. It’s ok to ask your partner to help. Or ask a grandparent to supervise a distance learning day or independent study time. It is ok pay a free-lancer to create that graphic you need, even though you could do it, the $15 is well worth the time savings. It’s ok to ask colleagues for tips on building a better mouse trap. Ask for help because you know you will pay it forward 10-fold when you can.
Remember this too shall pass-We are in a crazy time. We have expectations for ourselves, our careers, our families, our companies and they have all been turned upside down. We may have the crazy for a few months or a few years. The important thing is to keep persevering. While our double-digit growth may not happen in 2020, we can be better prepared to launch into the next stratosphere in 2021. Our kids are only little for such a short time in the grand scheme of things.

So, as we all face new levels of chaos, keep smiling. Give yourself grace. Let go of perfectionism and do the best you can with what you can. And as my daughter shared in the live video I did today, I am writing this blog as a reminder to myself as much as for everyone else.